Relative Richness

William the Conqueror, who conquered England some 940 years ago, had enough gold to melt into sugar spoons (and matching trays) and an army that revolutionized Europe. He was the top guy back then, with power galore. He had God knows how many horses and even more faithful dogs. Fair maidens were throwing themselves at him by the handful (assuming, of course, that people were fair back then before the age of blow dryers and lip-gloss).

But you know what? He had nothing remotely resembling a flush toilet. And he had never even heard of toothpaste (one can safely say that the great Williams mouth smelled like a fish cannery). Central heating or AC? Forget that! Back then, people used to develop frostbite or severe heat rashes depending on the season. And you can bet that if you had shown him a Sony color TV or a Phillips DVD player he would have screamed Sorcery!!! and would have had you burnt at the stake quicker than you could say barbarian.

What I m trying to say, people, is that we are much better off than we think. History books are filled with great people who had more power than you or I can ever dream of having. Yet I have a microwave, a dishwasher, and a cool little piece of equipment called a fridge that can actually preserve food and keep water nice and cold. I mean, look at Alexander the Great. Entire nations trembled at his name. But it took him ages to cross the Middle East to get as far as Persia. It takes us, however, a couple of hours in a nice plane that flies at 30,000 feet with roasted peanut snacks and as much coke as you can guzzle. Life for us, people, is rich.

Given that we are so much better off than so many famous dead people, you’d think that we d be relatively content. But no. Its not enough that we have almost eradicated polio and have not had a case of bubonic plague in a long while. We seem to be dissatisfied even as we read that science has unlocked the human genome and people are talking about traveling to Mars just for the heck of it.

Or that four-by-fours have allowed us to get across this tricky terrain of earth like no other mode of transportation has (I heard they are better than camels, which tend to give quite bumpy rides). Is it not enough that agriculture and medicine have been revolutionized and people are living longer than they ever have?

Apparently, it’s not enough. Because we don t have that turbo-speed whirlpool hot tub with the marble-sculpted interior that our next-door neighbor Amin has. And since we still haven’t gotten that heated swimming pool on the roof, life is not yet worth living.

I am writing this because I suddenly realized that I nag a great deal more than I have to about stupid things like my 18-credit workload or my hair on one of those days when it simply refuses to cooperate. Heavy workload? Try building the pyramids with nothing more than ropes and rolling logs. Bad hair day? Travel back in time when women washed their hair once a month and then tied it up into heavy buns and loops so big they made excellent mice nests.

So you know what, people? I will try not to nag anymore and see our twenty-first century life as a luxury not to be wasted away.

Besides, in 200 years, when future civilizations will look back at our palm pilots and scratch-free sapphire watch casings, they’ll laugh their heads off. Because, by then, our superb technology will look like good ol’ William s idea of a toothbrush:

A twig.

By Rima Itani