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Dr. Antoine Khabbaz during the seminar |
Abuse is about
power and status and is the result of the development of an unhealthy
relationship with the mother in the first three years of a child’s life,
said clinical psychologist Dr. Antoine Khabbaz during the first day of a
two-day seminar held November 23-25 in West Hall.
Organized by the Office of Student Affairs, the seminar provided a forum for
the discussion of various forms of abuse in both public and private life. In
addition to defining abuse, participants on the first day also discussed the
issue of abuse of religion. On the next day, the participants (including a
number of prominent psychiatrists, psychologists, lawyers, and journalists)
discussed how the Lebanese law and the media deal with abuse issues, and
presented case studies of specific abuse situations.
Dr. Khabbaz described the various forms of abuse as falling under two
categories: omission and commission. Abuse by omission means that the abuser
causes harm to another person by depriving care and affection. This category
contains two kinds: gaslight abuse, which involves an abuser causing his
victim to doubt his or her own sense of perception. For instance, the abuser
would deny that what is being seen or heard is true. Silent or passive abuse
is also one in which the abuser dismisses or disowns all emotion.
On the other hand, abuse by commission involves physical, emotional,
psychological, or sexual acts, in which an abuser either beats, curses,
blames or puts down his victim, or threatens by breaking things, or performs
sex without the partner’s consent. While Dr. Khabbaz acknowledged that not
all abusers are male, he noted that statistically the majority are. In
general, the abuser feels remorse after performing the deed, but is
powerless to stop himself or herself from repeating it without going through
therapy.
“Women will try to placate or avoid an escalation of abuse,” said Dr.
Khabbaz. “But these stop-gap measures don’t work, because the abuse will
happen anyway…. A woman who accepts abuse is more likely to ignore the abuse
inflicted on her children, leading her to neglect and fail to protect them.…
This is made worse by the cultural norms that idealize passivity and
sacrifice in women as being feminine traits.”
In the presentation that followed, Dr. Mohammed Sammak, of the
Christian-Muslim Dialogue, and Father George Massouh, who heads the
Christian-Muslim Center at Balamand University, discussed abuse and
religion. Both argued that it is not religion that is wrong or bad, but how
it is interpreted and misused.
“People deal with religious texts selectively and choose verses that suit
their moods and aims,” said Father Massouh, who noted the atrocities
committed in the name of Christianity by rulers in the eleventh century.
“The Christian state violated Christian values and harmed people in the name
of Christianity,” he said. Father Massouh urged everyone not to use religion
as a means for discrimination and separation, but to unite people within
diversity. “It is necessary to keep religion out of political conflicts, by
providing a new interpretation of the religious texts and initiating true
religious education on what brings people together.”
In describing now people abuse religion, Dr. Sammak, who is an adviser to
Grand Mufti Sheikh Mohammed Rashid Qabbani, said, “For instance, the call
for prayer is meant to invite people to pray, not to wake up the whole
neighborhood in a way that annoys everyone, including those who are sick.”
He argued that while the text is “sacred, permanent and absolute,” the
interpretation of the religious text is “human, changeable and relative.”
He noted, moreover, that while many misinterpret the Koran as saying Islam
is the only true religion, the Koran and The Prophet Mohammed, in fact,
consider a true Muslim as someone who believes in the doctrines of all other
religions. “True Islam is an Islam that believes in Christianity and
Judaism,” he said, referring to Verse 84 from Sourat Al-Omran.
“Once The Prophet was asked ‘Who is a Muslim?’, and he answered: ‘It is
someone who does not harm by action or by words,’” said Sammak, and added,
“So I don’t know what to call those who commit collective crimes against
innocent people.”
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